selamat malam blog ,
well today i'm gonna be so formal
nah....
6 tahun sudah saya menjalani pendidikan sekolah dasar , 3 tahun untuk sekolah menengah dan 3 tahun lainya untuk sekolah menengah ke atas , lalu sekarang saya memasuki lingkup dimana orang - orang lain sudah melupakan bagaimana rasanya punya mimpi dan cita - cita , menjadi orang lain dan menjadi robot untuk orang lain ...
i've been into university for 1 years , i guess it's not just myself .. i do this stuff that really the opposite of me , do that accounting , do this stupid presentation ... for what? for being someone else's robot , i guess i'm not that easy . saya masih punya banyak hal yang dapat saya nikmati sendiri tanpa harus menjadi orang lain , saya masih memiliki bidang yang saya sukai , ART . Whatever it is
banyak orang2 terdekat saya memilih untuk mengubur mimpi mereka untuk melakukan hal yang bahkan mereka tidak inginkan , so what's you gonna do next? setelah 16 tahun untuk mendapatkan "title / gelar / sarjana." get a job , being someone else robot , do stuff they want , get married , buy everything you want , and you dead . Saya kira hidup bukanlah hanya se-sempit itu i don't wanna be that guy , saya ingin hidup saya bisa benar2 "berguna." untuk kehidupan orang lain ,apapun hal yang bisa membuat saya senang , passion , hobby or whatever ... i just want to do things that makes me happy ever after .
Saya sempat depresi karena being this someone else , i even ever thinking to end my life ..
jika saya adalah orang yang mudah di jadikan robot , saya pikir saya akan benar2 habis value saya sebagai manusia , sebagai seorang manusia saya tidak punya nilai sama sekali .. i do really think about it , saya benar benar berpikir apa peran saya sebagai personal di dunia ini ... saya tidak mau pada akhir nanti saya mati , peran tersebut hanyalah untuk menjadi robot orang lain .
i wrote this post for you kids out there who really enjoy things that you love , never care about someone else , jangan hiraukan orang-orang lain yang menghalangi mu , just do whatever you love , just do it , meskipun orang tua mu sendiri , menurut saya mereka sebenernya baik , mau yang terbaik , but they miss the biggest point of everything , hati dan perasaan anak - anak mereka . I'm not gonna told you that you have to betray them no , biarkan saja mereka marah , kecewa untuk sementara , hanya untuk sementara karena kamu bisa membuktikan dengan melakukan hal yang kamu cintai , kamu bisa membanggakan mereka dengan melakukan dan menghidupi diri kamu dari hal yang kamu cintai.
"if parents think that the best for you is not what you love , than show them what you love is the best for you."
Dear my forgotten blog .
It's Been awhile since i write the last time i write something inside you , it's almost one year since the last post , the things inside me it's been up and down lately .
let's start with the worse part first , my college stuff seems to be so broken lately , i skip so many courses just because i'm so sure that i could move to another better university ... but the truth is all the thing is collapse now , i've seen so many E and K on that stupid transcript , it's hurt so much because the truth is i will be late for just one semester , i know that is not a problem for someone else , but this one is really get into me , i'm not that kind of "fuck it." person , i'm a nerd for god sake .I Hate the truth that i'm gonna little bit late for finish this things up , i always try harder to see the brightside on it for example : i could play music a little longer before i turn into a boring man use a neat shirt , C'mon nobody wants to be that man, where all the dreams ? it's hard to reapeat all those stuff all over again , i know it's two different thing university and school , but it's just seems like pathetic. But anyway this whole academic things is killing me , for the record i've been spent the last 12 years just for reading books and stuff that i never use , well .... just some of them anyway i even learn english from the goddamn movies and games
it's hard to talk about this to someone else , they never understand what my problem is , i'm not that dumb boy , i'm even pretty smart to remember stuff and those stupid formula , i just hate to be not who i am .
when my brother move to jakarta and dump everything up , it's a brave decision for him , and risk of course .. but they all now stare at me , to not become that mucisian like my brother , they just don't want me to throw it all away like my brothers did , i reduce this masterplan dreams about being mucisian day by day just to make my mom happy , i surrender under this circumstances , do i have any option? do i have any alternative way? there's no one listen and speak to me anyway , i used to face this kind of problem by myself and solve the things up by myself . there's no one listen to my story
if they found this as a suicide note , it's not . i've been so many terrible condition more than this , but the things is no one knows i just by myself and shout at myself , i fall alone , i climb alone , i spare time just with myself , so....
good night .
It's Been awhile since i write the last time i write something inside you , it's almost one year since the last post , the things inside me it's been up and down lately .
let's start with the worse part first , my college stuff seems to be so broken lately , i skip so many courses just because i'm so sure that i could move to another better university ... but the truth is all the thing is collapse now , i've seen so many E and K on that stupid transcript , it's hurt so much because the truth is i will be late for just one semester , i know that is not a problem for someone else , but this one is really get into me , i'm not that kind of "fuck it." person , i'm a nerd for god sake .I Hate the truth that i'm gonna little bit late for finish this things up , i always try harder to see the brightside on it for example : i could play music a little longer before i turn into a boring man use a neat shirt , C'mon nobody wants to be that man, where all the dreams ? it's hard to reapeat all those stuff all over again , i know it's two different thing university and school , but it's just seems like pathetic. But anyway this whole academic things is killing me , for the record i've been spent the last 12 years just for reading books and stuff that i never use , well .... just some of them anyway i even learn english from the goddamn movies and games
it's hard to talk about this to someone else , they never understand what my problem is , i'm not that dumb boy , i'm even pretty smart to remember stuff and those stupid formula , i just hate to be not who i am .
when my brother move to jakarta and dump everything up , it's a brave decision for him , and risk of course .. but they all now stare at me , to not become that mucisian like my brother , they just don't want me to throw it all away like my brothers did , i reduce this masterplan dreams about being mucisian day by day just to make my mom happy , i surrender under this circumstances , do i have any option? do i have any alternative way? there's no one listen and speak to me anyway , i used to face this kind of problem by myself and solve the things up by myself . there's no one listen to my story
if they found this as a suicide note , it's not . i've been so many terrible condition more than this , but the things is no one knows i just by myself and shout at myself , i fall alone , i climb alone , i spare time just with myself , so....
good night .
Tentang Perspektif
I Just Layin' in my bed like 35 minutes after i really exhausted after full college day and then i realize something that i shud write something.. Then i just come up with this idea about perspective in my mind that i remembered.
Sebagai seorang manusia saya adalah salah satu dari kalian yang pernah mengalami rasa yang sama yang dimiliki manusia kebanyakan , rasa kecewa , sakit hati , senang , sedih ... you know it's kind of like a black and white tuts at the piano , they played together and the sad and happy things is always the part of the story saya juga melalui banyak hal yang mendewasakan saya dari berbagai macam sudut pandang perspektif ...
I always trying hard to see a problem from lot of perspective the example is when i had a problems and i always think twice how i'm gonna react to it mengingat kejadian2 yang pernah saya alami sebelum nya ... if i react this way , how they will react? if i try to shout my anger , whether they will shout back? It's Always the point of a perspective yang membuat kita lebih dewasa dalam berbagai hal.. saya selalu berpikir tentang kebalikan fakta ... "What if moment." what will happen if i were him or her? I'm not saying that i'm take a responsible for someone's mind ... but i always try to not put someone's heart in blue , or sad because i know how it feels and i know how depressing to be sad and mad ... i always use this perspective for defend ourself from mistakes for example When i lie to someone about something , if i were them am i gonna mad or sad? yes i am .. so that's why i'm not gonna lie.
Sebagai seorang manusia saya adalah salah satu dari kalian yang pernah mengalami rasa yang sama yang dimiliki manusia kebanyakan , rasa kecewa , sakit hati , senang , sedih ... you know it's kind of like a black and white tuts at the piano , they played together and the sad and happy things is always the part of the story saya juga melalui banyak hal yang mendewasakan saya dari berbagai macam sudut pandang perspektif ...
I always trying hard to see a problem from lot of perspective the example is when i had a problems and i always think twice how i'm gonna react to it mengingat kejadian2 yang pernah saya alami sebelum nya ... if i react this way , how they will react? if i try to shout my anger , whether they will shout back? It's Always the point of a perspective yang membuat kita lebih dewasa dalam berbagai hal.. saya selalu berpikir tentang kebalikan fakta ... "What if moment." what will happen if i were him or her? I'm not saying that i'm take a responsible for someone's mind ... but i always try to not put someone's heart in blue , or sad because i know how it feels and i know how depressing to be sad and mad ... i always use this perspective for defend ourself from mistakes for example When i lie to someone about something , if i were them am i gonna mad or sad? yes i am .. so that's why i'm not gonna lie.
Just a few random things
Wow great , it's been awhile bla bla bla bla
anyway so i'm gonna start tell something that you don't really care , and people i know will never read this tho..
um so it's been a tough month lot of things happen , just feels like ride a car and travel the time lol , actually do you think that writing some post blog it's kinda old stuff? Cause lot of person think that way , but you know old stuff it's always cool some vintage things , it's like watching jurassic park for the first time ...
gosh , wtf i was talking about , anyway i don't want to share anything just want to write random things , because it's hard to tell someone else , what in my mind .
it's just because i'm too alone , i just need someone to talk to from deepest heart of my life , i just feel so lonely even there is lot of friend i hang with , but it's always hard if i don't have any friend that could understand my mind and heart , i'ts just.... i'm not saying that it's not fun to hang out with them , but it's just like that ... and then it will be gone .
lot of things just through my mind , it's like i'm a slave by my own fucking mind you know ... it's like i'm not the one who control myself , but it's my mind , i don't know maybe it's kind of disease , i don't know what the hell happen with myself , lately i just become so sensitive about everything , this is not me at all .. i don't know feels like nerd.
i always think that this world has two different kind of character.. which is bad guy and good guy .. i always think which one i am? i always think two-sided perspective ... i just want to be the good guy i guess , defending the innocent people without mention myself as a heroes , so i guess that's why they called superheroes ...
fantasize , everybody always want to fantasize , i even want to be a soccer player when i watch chelsea fc playing ... i always be a competitive person in every aspect.
and lately i just watch a movies called HUGO , and i watch chloe she was like my crush from the tv screen , i think i just fell in love with her.. there is nothing more painful than yo see your crush but you absolutely can't do anything about it .. she just perfectly obviously way way far out of my league ..
great..just great randow shit
anyway so i'm gonna start tell something that you don't really care , and people i know will never read this tho..
um so it's been a tough month lot of things happen , just feels like ride a car and travel the time lol , actually do you think that writing some post blog it's kinda old stuff? Cause lot of person think that way , but you know old stuff it's always cool some vintage things , it's like watching jurassic park for the first time ...
gosh , wtf i was talking about , anyway i don't want to share anything just want to write random things , because it's hard to tell someone else , what in my mind .
it's just because i'm too alone , i just need someone to talk to from deepest heart of my life , i just feel so lonely even there is lot of friend i hang with , but it's always hard if i don't have any friend that could understand my mind and heart , i'ts just.... i'm not saying that it's not fun to hang out with them , but it's just like that ... and then it will be gone .
lot of things just through my mind , it's like i'm a slave by my own fucking mind you know ... it's like i'm not the one who control myself , but it's my mind , i don't know maybe it's kind of disease , i don't know what the hell happen with myself , lately i just become so sensitive about everything , this is not me at all .. i don't know feels like nerd.
i always think that this world has two different kind of character.. which is bad guy and good guy .. i always think which one i am? i always think two-sided perspective ... i just want to be the good guy i guess , defending the innocent people without mention myself as a heroes , so i guess that's why they called superheroes ...
fantasize , everybody always want to fantasize , i even want to be a soccer player when i watch chelsea fc playing ... i always be a competitive person in every aspect.
and lately i just watch a movies called HUGO , and i watch chloe she was like my crush from the tv screen , i think i just fell in love with her.. there is nothing more painful than yo see your crush but you absolutely can't do anything about it .. she just perfectly obviously way way far out of my league ..
great..just great randow shit
lately...
it’s been awhile since i write my last post in tumblr..
so everything it’s good .. saya telah melakukan banyak hal belakangan , termasuk tes ke perguruan tinggi , a real let down ketika saya gak masuk jalur undangan sedangkan teman baik saya masuk , hahah but it’s okay , everything was planned by god, so… need to learn a lot for another test , doain cepet dapet perguruan tinggi ya ^^
Oh iya, sebentar lagi saya akan pindah (lagi.) alhamdulilah rumah sangat memuaskan tampaknya , well , it’s always hard leave something that really meaningful to me , yes… rumah yang saya tempati sekarang penuh arti sekali … saya tinggal disini tepat hari pertama saya masuk sekolah SMA , dan akan pindah sebentar lagi.
fuh…. ini udah ketiga kali saya pindah rumah setelah saya tinggal di Malang , lagi-lagi tentang kenangan …
anyway , post ini bukan tentang masa lalu , need to face the future front of me..
terima kasih , mungkin sampe situ aja SEE YA!
"Lost"
I can't believe it's over
I watched the whole thing fall
And I never saw the writing that was on the wall
If I'd only knew
The days were slipping past
That the good things never last
That you were crying
Summer turned to winter
And the snow it turned to rain
And the rain turned into tears upon your face
I hardly recognized the girl you are today
And, God, I hope it's not too late
Hmmm... It's not too late
'Cause you are not alone
I'm always there with you
And we'll get lost together
'Til the light comes pouring through
'Cause when you feel like you're done
And the darkness has won
Babe, you're not lost
When your world's crashing down
And you can't bear the thought
I said, babe, you're not lost
Life can show no mercy
It can tear your soul apart
It can make you feel like you've gone crazy
But you're not
Things have seemed to change
There's one thing that's still the same
In my heart you have remained
And we can fly fly fly away
'Cause you are not alone
And I am there with you
And we'll get lost together
'Til the light comes pouring through
'Cause when you feel like you're done
And the darkness has won
Babe, you're not lost
When the world's crashing down
And you can not bear the cross
I watched the whole thing fall
And I never saw the writing that was on the wall
If I'd only knew
The days were slipping past
That the good things never last
That you were crying
Summer turned to winter
And the snow it turned to rain
And the rain turned into tears upon your face
I hardly recognized the girl you are today
And, God, I hope it's not too late
Hmmm... It's not too late
'Cause you are not alone
I'm always there with you
And we'll get lost together
'Til the light comes pouring through
'Cause when you feel like you're done
And the darkness has won
Babe, you're not lost
When your world's crashing down
And you can't bear the thought
I said, babe, you're not lost
Life can show no mercy
It can tear your soul apart
It can make you feel like you've gone crazy
But you're not
Things have seemed to change
There's one thing that's still the same
In my heart you have remained
And we can fly fly fly away
'Cause you are not alone
And I am there with you
And we'll get lost together
'Til the light comes pouring through
'Cause when you feel like you're done
And the darkness has won
Babe, you're not lost
When the world's crashing down
And you can not bear the cross
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